Making Sense of the Men in Your Life

Kevin Leman has a lot of good information and his style of writing is alright.  He says things in a matter of fact way and the information in this book wasn't all that new.  Maybe it's because lately I've been reading books on men and listening to teleseminars.  Though Kevin Leman is a Christian, I guess I do expect a more godly approach to things rather than what seems like a secular view.

He does give practical ways and things for people to do.  Basically, men and women, though they are equal, they are wired differently.  They have different needs and communication styles.  This is what he talks about.  Men should not be women and women should not be men.  Let men be men and he basically spells it out.

I'm reading some other books by Leman right now, so hope I'm not getting these books confused.

The Soulmate Secret

Okay, this book really was low for me in terms of being useful.  I had to weed through so much New Age crap, that I just couldn't handle it that much.  I got to the point I just had to skim the last half of the book because each story seemed to have someone turning to a psychic to get their direction.  That is demonic and just plain yucky.  How can any reasonable person turn to a psychic? 

Yes, I'm glad all those people got connected to their soulmates.  There isn't anything that it talks about that is all that different, just different words are used.  She uses the idea of creating specific lists for your soulmate, as well as doing a vision board type thing.  Then, there is forgiveness of yourself and others.  Let go of the past so you can move forward.  A lot of common sense stuff wrapped up in New Age mumbo jumbo.

Don't waste your money.

Making Sense of Men

Making Sense of Men was a book I heard about on the WISH (Women's International Summit on Health) teleseminar series for 2011.  Allison Armstrong was one of the guest speakers and I really liked her.  I checked out her book from the public library and it's a very small, short book.  This was a very easy read, however, it had a lot of good information.

I love in chapter 2 where she says "Men Are Not Hairy Women".  I think often I still expect men to think like me, the woman, and they just do not.  It's frustrating, but God did not make men like women or vice versa.  He made each to be as He purposed. 

Though this is not a biblical book, she has the point biblically.  She says that getting men's attention is through our sexuality is through 4 things:  1)  Sexual Energy; 2) Sensuality; 3) Shapely Body; 4) Shiny Hair.  The response from men is to have sex.  She starts off with what many men and women already know.

Having just that in a relationship isn't enough because men when they get that sex, it just ends there sooner or later.  There's no depth to that.

Allison then talks about when a man is "Charmed & Enchanted", that he wants more from the woman than just a superficial sexual type thing.  These are the 4 characteristics of women that cause them to be "Charmed & Enchanted":  1)  Self-Confidence; 2) Authenticity; 3) Passion; 4) Receptivity.  This produces the response in men to want to A) Spend time with us; B) Take Care Of Us; C) Protect; D) Contribute To; E) Make Happy; F) Fall In Love With

She talks about women not short-changing themselves with focusing on the things that attract sexually, rather do the things that charm & enchant a man.  She also talks about women not giving up ourselves sexually in any relationship, rather in marriage only and staying faithful there.

Anyway, she expounds succinctly in each of those things listed and is well-worth the read.

Wild At Heart

I've been wanting to read this book for a few years and now was my opportunity, and I even got the book for free from Thomas-Nelson to do a review on it. Way cool.

This book was insightful for me in better understanding at least one man in my life better. Eldredge's main premise is there is a warrior in each man that must be allowed to come out, rather than the emasculation that our society has put on men, expecting them to feel and somewhat act like women.

Before reading this book, I had an opportunity to read over some of the reviews from Book Sneeze and agree with some, while those with negative reviews, not so much. I lent my on again, off again beau the book to read first as I was finishing another book. For him, he found the book life changing, as he's not been exposed to the godly male influences I have, so many of the things he read, the ideas were new and powerful. This made me more excited to read the book, and see what he highlighted.

Some books I've read has made God out to be a very nice, gentle, loving God. Although He is those things, there is a very harsh part of God that doesn't tolerate sin. A part of this was put into man, meaning the fierceness, the warrior that fights. Our society has looked at so many things as being violent or intolerable, so we force our sons to be pansies, to be wusses and wimps.

Eldredge makes more the case for me as a mommy of a 6-yr old all boy to allow him to be all boy. That doesn't mean he isn't to have good boundaries, but I don't have to coddle him over every single little thing - allow him to toughen up, be the protector he is meant to be eventually, and to really take stands for what is right.

He uses many analogies of movies, books -- some seem appropro, others not so much. Even as a woman, I found many things applicable to me. When God goes deeper into the area of our woundings, it gets pretty painful. He talks about how the enemy will work even more aggressively to bring us down, but, that we are not to back down.

Throughout the book, Eldredge talks about the woman, and how for most men, this becomes a stumbling block in men in their healing from the wounds in their lives. He talks about how the wounds are the lies we've believed, and about bringing God's Truth into those areas. Before a man can truly be the man he was created to be, he needs to heal from those deep woundings and to take time to do that before letting "the woman" into his life into a more intimate relationship -- because you cannot be intimate in the way God designed unless those wounds are healed.

Parts of the book, Eldredge sort of talks about "the woman" in a fairytalelike manner, referring to her as "the beauty". I could see areas where my relationship has been off and how it's better to give my beau time and space he needs to heal from his wounds.

Each person in a relationship needs to know their true identity in Jesus Christ. Without this, the relationship is flimsy at best. This book is about a man's journey to find who he really is in Christ, and some of the major pitfalls along the way.

Though I did not like everything that was said in the book, I can see why he said it and how it would be beneficial to heed his advice. Sometimes in life we need to make tough decisions for the ultimate good.

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Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”